Inflexibility

I am aging and my body is losing its flexibility gradually. My mind is going the same way and I guess this is perhaps true in the case of many of you. Some of us do our best to keep ourselves in the best physical shape possible by living, exercising and eating sensibly. While body inflexibility leaps off the page and get our immediate attention, our mind rigidity creeps up on us. We are often completely oblivious to a distracted, biased mind till the very end. We stress about our values, goals, and version of reality and deal only with things that we are comfortable with. We refuse to flow with the universe and this leads to anger and frustration and we keep blowing gaskets like it is the only game in town.  

The signs of inflexibility are very obvious to others but most people choose to believe a kinder and gentler version of themselves regardless of the facts. Our minds are hopelessly colonized by calcified opinions and prejudices. Our anger, irritation, sadness are the products of our inflexible mind as we continue to cling to our own distorted reality.  

 I started practicing mindful living a while ago and have lately been using the ‘quite’ time to do some self-introspection. Someone very wisely said that meditation is just a practice. We must live ‘meditatively’ all the time and that is what keeps us grounded and not the 30 minute mediation sessions!

I am able to slowly recognize and accept weaknesses in me and areas where I need help. Initially, I did not know how to go about identifying the weaknesses in me but soon latched on to the idea of seeing the effects of the causes created by me. The fruits of my labor tell me a lot about how I tilled the land.   

I am now trying to intuit and learn more about what is going on when I see evidence of mild turbulence in my little world. People at times are looking at me with raised eyebrows and seem to be asking ‘are you serious? This intuiting business is not easy, believe me. Your mind is so biased and pre-conditioned and letting go of the idea that you are infallible, at least temporarily, is like spitting into a gale wind lashing at you.  I have kicked many a cans down the road in the past but am not turning my back on this one for sure. I don’t know if this exercise is a bridge too far for me but I must get this monkey off my back and sooner the better. When I know my weaknesses, I will be a stronger person. 

Magic in my backyard

I was sitting by the picture window and reading a book yesterday afternoon. This was the last book in the trilogy about the Mogul Empire in the 17^th century India. The book was quite a page turner. Once in a while, I looked up to see what was going in my backyard before getting back to serious reading. I do this habitually as I lack the ability to sustain attention on one activity. One of my many frailties, I concede.

As I looked up to take a break and reflect on the sudden turn of events in the story, I suddenly noticed a squirrel scurrying up to the flowerbed below the picture window. The squirrel was holding a nut in his mouth and seemed in a hurry. It appeared the squirrel was undecided about something as he kept running in circles. I have seen squirrels playing in my backyard but they rarely sported a beleaguered look as this one.  Intrigued, I decided to put the book down and watch the unfolding drama. I am glad I did that for what I saw took my breath away.

The squirrel efficiently dug a hole with his front legs and made sure the dirt was put away on both sides. He then stood on his hind legs with his front legs folded across his chest (human like) and looked around to see if he was noticed by anyone. If the squirrel community is seriously debating among themselves how to look adorable, I recommend this pose unhesitatingly. He then hurriedly moved to another location to dig a hole and kept repeating this routine. He was holding the nut in his mouth all the while and will not put it down. He was obviously exercising abundant caution in protecting his future meal.

He remained unsatisfied with the location until he had dug several holes in the flowerbed softened by the unusually frequent rains we have had in the last three months. He finally put the nut in a hole that met his uncompromising, exacting standards and used his front legs to cover it up with the dirt he had just removed. He also dragged some dry twigs and fallen leaves lying around and put them on the location as a camouflage. It made me wonder, what else does this little fellow have in his bag of tricks? He then scurried back to the big tree in our backyard and climbed all the way up.

This left me wondering if the squirrel will ever be able to zero in on the location when he needed the nut. I went back to my reading and forgot all about that. A few hours had passed, the sun was setting slowly with my east facing backyard growing darker by the minute. As I was standing up to go and get a glass of wine for myself, I suddenly noticed some activity below the picture window. The squirrel had come back and he was casting about in a furtive manner. He then dashed to the precise location, where he had hidden the nut,  dug up the hole, retrieved the nut and ran back to the tree with the nut firmly clenched between his teeth. There was never a doubt about the location. The whole thing happened in less than one minute.

There is magic happening around us every moment but we are not aware of it. When you are fully engaged in the present, life offers a bewildering variety of wonders to watch and enjoy. Stop saying ’He ain’t got the brains of a squirrel’ to insult your friend. These guys are smart.